Other religions have alluded to a Life Force. The old name for this sort of belief is panthiesum, or the belief that God is in everything. The notion of an intelligent Life Force that is everywhere to be found is only a variation of this theme. This force is said to have both life, and is in fact "pure consciousness", and also intelligence. We talked about this force a few postings back. We said the force was like some etherial plasma like substance. The Bible makes the statement, "Life is in the blood". Well, perhaps a different kind of "blood". Of course blood has cells in it and each cell is said to have its own consciousness. There is talk in the Bible about the blood itself calling out to God when it is shed in murder as though the blood itself has conscious awareness. I would like to elaborate on the theme of that other file by saying that when this ectoplasum or whatever comes into the body, perhaps the ectoplasum itself is undifferentiated but when ut unions up with human DNA is forms the unique soul that is ourselves. There is another possability in that since all of the substance is alive and is kind of like that python snake on the Simpsons last night. "We sell pythons by the foot" and you just break a couple feet off from the roll like paper towels. I guess there is a question is does any portion of the plasma have a will where it wants to go or whose DNA it inhabits? When you watch rivers of water run down a concrete driveway you are aware of the fact that the rivers are like "associations" of water. One mass devides and becomes two. As such people speak of life as a "river". Perhaps the Human Spirit is like a river with a seeming will of its own.
We have used the term "Zeitguist", a term I heard on a Martin Luther King movie. It means "spirit of the times" literally, but the Federation translates it as "Cosmic karma" or the karma of major events. If you don't believe in astrology or something like it, just look at the tides of human events. Certain things are "in" at certain times. After the Civil War it was "in" to say you were for the civil rights of Black people, even if you couldn't care less. It was just the spirit of the times. In the 1920's fancying yourself a scientific person was in. A lot of stuff had just been invented and Einstein's theory of relativity was in the public forum and was debated. Also in the twenties they were just discovering the whole DNA thing. What started off as some gee whiz amazment and fascenation with genetic codes and dominent and recessive genes soon degenerated into "racial hygene" otherwise known as eugenics. Thus being a racist who believed in "pruning the race" became in vogue for a while. In the 1960's Civil Rights was in vogue. It's too bad we couldn't have left Larry Elder in the 1960's. "Manifest Destiny" was another of these movements that hit the popular imagination. Whether it's God or astrology or some other "cosmic tide" that's motivating these macro events, it clear that something is doing it.
You people may be interested on things on a smaller scale. "That's fine talking about God but what are individual people responsible for"? This evening I went for secconds on dinner, though the food was such slop tonight I wonder why I bothered. I've lost 32 pounds in the past eleven months, but I suppose I could afford to love a few more. There were a bunch of people ahead of me but finally it was the last person before me being served. There would be no question who the next person to be served would be. That's what I thought. Three people showed up out of nowhere and to my amazement all three were served before me. I say this not because it is usual but because it is unusual. Chuck Smith has spoken of we being judged on our MOTIVES. I do not was going through that woman server's mind when she kept deferring me. I wish we could know the thoughts and intents of others ahead of time and I wish a little meter would appear over their head. And they would be graded on how Christian their attitude was. How close their attitude was to the pureness of Christ. Actually this would be good "Theological feedback". You've heard of bio-feedback haven't you? Well??? Sometimes people are compelled literally to cast moral judgements in the dark. I give you the Dateline case last Saturday night. A husband and wife were married and had a little girl and it was roomered that the husband had sexually molested the little girl. It was investigated but they had no evidence as proof and to this day we don't know his guilt. But it came to pass that the wife, and both of the in-law parents were involved in a plot to murder the son. So now the husband can never defend himself. The question is whether the whole sexual molestation episode figures in the murder and proving it. The Judge said no, it was immiterial. So the jury rendered a guilty verdict without the defendants ever to say, "Yor honor this man is a sexual preditor". The whole motus opperandi is gone and you're just left with the physical evidence, which existed to prove the murder. Of course you know that Jack Nichelson officer in "A Few Good Men" saying "You can't handle the truth". It was just simmering to spill the truth in court but knew if he had any sense he would hold his tongue. I in my personal life have always strived never to opperate on bad or evil motives. But Federation teaching places far more relivance on what you ACTUALLY accomplish rather than what you Intend to accomplish. You kind of wonder about "The Spirit behind Christianity". What is the "driving force" behind it. And I don't think it's love or flower power. I believe the driving force was to extoll the authority of Rome and to stick it to the Jews and to make them into villans and to selectively use Jesus' words to make it appear as though Jesus himself hated his own race. Certain people who have been on my case who are in the Church, I don't even want to speculate what their motives are. If there were some magic device where I could SEE their motives, perhaps as various colors or something- - perhaps I could understand them better or offer them therapy or something. But if the result is Eil then the action that brought it is Evil.
In the news we have Larry Elder getting upset today as someone making the statement, "People who wouldn't vote for O Bama because he is Black would probably not vote democratic anyhow." Larry took offence to this but I don't know why since it's such an obvious truth. There was a caller who talked about people from the KKK sabotaging Tilden's presidential campaign in 1876 wanting to insure that Haise, a Republican got in the White House. I'm a little confused why if the KKK was founded by democrats they'd want a republican in the white house. There is some organization called the Red Shirts whom I intend to look up. Also stated was that all of the southern bigoted Democrats turned Republican after Barry Goldwater lost to Johnson in the 1964 election. This was the turning points for them. This event doesn't help Larry's case because it shows a gravitational pull tword Republicans as the party of biggots. But I like to tune in Larry occasionally just to see what is going on on the other side of the political tracks.
Grandpa Mc Cain was on Meet the Press on Sunday. You know, because of recent events I'm just about to the point of switching my Party affiliation from Republican to democratic. I have to go to the DMV before this year of 2007 is out anyhow and while I'm there I might just as well avail myself of their other services. It was Randi Rhodes who called him grandpa Mc Cain because he would be our oldest first time president if elected. I was completely disappointed with everything that he said on the subject of the Iraq War and on everything else. I am disheartened to learn that he's now in favor of the Bush tax cuts. Romney is worse. He was on Sixty Minutes and he has flip flopped on everything imaginable. I'd never vote for him. I will say this about mormons. They believe overtly that marriage and the family is for eternity and children are your legasy in heaven. The Christians I know also believe this but would never come out and say it because it isn't Biblical. As far as Fred Thompson goes if he got in the race he would be my last choice even among republicans. Thom Hartman has suggested that Mike Bloomburg and Chuck Hagel form some sort of third party ticket. They are desciples of Bush 41 and I guess that means the platform would be against the Iraq War. There's hope there.
John Kennedy made a speech on the subject of secrecy saying that it was a bad thing. The Orion Federation believes what Jesus has preached. What you whisper in the closet today will be shouted from the roof tops tomorrow. I'm sure he had to have gays in mind. (just kidding) The Federation also agrees with that preacher on the Church channel who says that God can "turn a bad event around" and use other people's bad decisions for your ultimate good. Personally there's a big shortage of that in my life but my only response is to say "Amen" to that preacher's words. The Federation likes to snag people in their own words and use people's own thoughts against them kind of like Beneathe the Planet of the Apes. We cannot know all of the bad seeds that evil people have sowed. If we believe the Bible "What you sow you shall surely reap". This verse can only be a cause of joy to good people. Amen.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Money You Can't Spend
Today I was so hard up I went to the bank to withdraw eleven dollars from my account, leaving only about three something, a new record low even for me. But one of the coins I was paid in was the Sakaguia golden tinted dollar the government put out a few years ago. If presented with a coin like that I'm not sure I would accept it were I a store clerk. My friend said to hang onto it because it's probably already worth ten bucks. Of course on Wheel of Fortune if you win the ten thousand dollar wedge you are told that that isn't money you can actually spend to win more prizes. In Jesus-land they are always telling you the Lord pays in some other kind of currency. You are not to seek an earthly blessing but a "heavenly reward" with some sort of script you can only spend in heaven. And of course adversity could really be a "blessing". I know of no case where any member of the Orion Federation has approached anybody and offered to pay them in "Federation" money. Only in Jesus land does that sort of stuff go on. But I had carefully counted out how much money I needed till Tuesday and it was eleven and now that ammount is shrunk to ten.
You know, sometimes I wish these politicians would get off the dime. This democratic congress seems to be a major bust. So far as I know they have not gotten any major bill passed they were planning, including a long needed minimum wage bill or an immigration bill. We know their record on the Iraq War. Now we are all being told "Wait till September and we'll see". Predent it's September. What now? The decision has always been the same, ie. not to MAKE a decision. We are always being told "any day now - - any month now". Bush told us on the deck of that ship on May 1st. 2003 that major combat opperations were over. Thom Hartman seems to be whistling dixie when he speaks of any kind of forward motion in this congress. In the first place they'll never bring an important bill to the table because of that rule where 41% of congress can fillibuster any bill. As long as you have that it's hopeless. Hartman tells us repeatedly that "Well we aren't going for impeachment, we're just in a fact gathering mode now". I think we all know "The facts". We've known them for over a year since the first impeachment rumblings hit in early 2006, when I first started listening to KTLK radio. Those were exciting times. Nobody cares now. The democrats aren't building any "political capotal". Polls show that in head to head Presidential races Republicans hold their own and the figures over the years have changed very little. There was that libertarian in KCET last night shooting his mouth off. Thank goodness he isn't running. Thom Hartman is looking about as convincing as the empty scrotum of a former alpha male dog. Life is a case of "Therefores". The liberals have all the facts on their side, THEREFORE let's move to impeach the president. If this were a chess games the experts would be saying it's their only logical move. Otherwise this congress will finish out its impotent term with its hands tied behind its back. You know in the past I have been told "You seem like a Bright person and a Creative person, and even a good communacator". But this is an empty statement because there is no THEREFORE attatched to it, such as "Therefore I'm going to intervene to get you that job you've been trying for" or "therefore I'm going to give you this big oppertunity". You know that fourteen year old "kid" on the Montell Williams show was given an "oppertunity" NOT to spend the rest of his life in jail, had he the sense to take it. All he had to do was to be sent to this "Farm" in Utah for three or four years. Jesus Christ on KFI says "God doesn't allow do-overs". I'd say, "That's fine- - if you add a Therefore to it". Such as "Therefore since there is no Next Life, I'm going to help you right now since you came to me in petetion". Of course I can't picture Jesus doing that. I sometimes wonder knowing predestination whether God doesn't get his rocks off playing tapes of people making the biggest mistakes of their lives and all the angels snickering "How stupid". Or maybe he's into reliving for instance Mao's slaughter of the Tibetans. My point is don't open your Yap unless there is a "Therefore" attatched to your words. I don't think this congress is winning the war of words. If they were they wouldn't all be so afraid and tennative and scared spitless of offending someone on the right. Nobody has the balls to get up and say "This Iraq War is wrong and as with any wrong, it is an injustice that must be ended right NOW". I really think democrats have forgotten the use of the word "Now". It seems permanantly stripped from their vocabulary.
Sometimes I wish time ran backwards. It would sure make life a lot more pleasent. There are times I've run the "Putfall" game backwards. It's a lot easyer to play that way. Everyone would get younger. People like me and others would get more sure of themselves as time passed. Marriages would spontaniously get better and love would increase between couples and walls would come down. The thing is with Walls and Bridges, you want bridges but you don't want walls. If you ran time backwards both walls and bridges would come down. Clothes and cars would be new and bright and appliances would run better and better as they aged. Messes would clean themselves up. Loved ones would spontaniously come back to life, and doubters would spontaniously regain their Faith. In case you are wondering after the posting after this one, whenever I do it, we've switching to Karmic Suicide for a while and some time then we'll talk about early 1991 in my life. It always seems as if good news is temporary but bad news is permanent. I'm one who would like to see jinxes un-happen. Most engrams are "wired" to run forward, but you could wire them to run backwards, so that you were "controled" by a FUTURE event rather than a past one, but it would have to be an ACTUAL future event. Of course all Jesus can talk about on KFI is how wonderful death is. Death is neither foreward nor backward. People always talk about religion as a struggle. Well, the best way to end a war is to stop fighting it. If God wanted us dead as much as Christian pastors suggests that he does- - like every minute we're alive is some horrible mistake- - then I say to God, "There are a lot of rocks and stones out in the desert. Make desciples of them if you will, but leave the living to we who actually have a stake in it.
Home theater: You've heard a lot about it. Yet if you listen to Leo Le Port you may think achieving it is impossible. First of all you can't put a TV accross from a window because that causes reflection. You can't put a TV in front of a window because that's also bad. You can't have a square room because that's bad for sound. You can't mount the screen over the fireplace. You can't put the TV in a corner because everyone will have a sore neck watching it. And the screen itself has to occupy thirty degrees of visual field. I think they said a screen has to be at LEAST sixty five inches or so for a typical room. Preferably you're supposed to have some long room shaped like a theater and put the TV at one end of it. You know, I bet I could go over a list of things for the democratic congress to do in the way of dos and donts that would leave them just as discouraged, what say?
You know, sometimes I wish these politicians would get off the dime. This democratic congress seems to be a major bust. So far as I know they have not gotten any major bill passed they were planning, including a long needed minimum wage bill or an immigration bill. We know their record on the Iraq War. Now we are all being told "Wait till September and we'll see". Predent it's September. What now? The decision has always been the same, ie. not to MAKE a decision. We are always being told "any day now - - any month now". Bush told us on the deck of that ship on May 1st. 2003 that major combat opperations were over. Thom Hartman seems to be whistling dixie when he speaks of any kind of forward motion in this congress. In the first place they'll never bring an important bill to the table because of that rule where 41% of congress can fillibuster any bill. As long as you have that it's hopeless. Hartman tells us repeatedly that "Well we aren't going for impeachment, we're just in a fact gathering mode now". I think we all know "The facts". We've known them for over a year since the first impeachment rumblings hit in early 2006, when I first started listening to KTLK radio. Those were exciting times. Nobody cares now. The democrats aren't building any "political capotal". Polls show that in head to head Presidential races Republicans hold their own and the figures over the years have changed very little. There was that libertarian in KCET last night shooting his mouth off. Thank goodness he isn't running. Thom Hartman is looking about as convincing as the empty scrotum of a former alpha male dog. Life is a case of "Therefores". The liberals have all the facts on their side, THEREFORE let's move to impeach the president. If this were a chess games the experts would be saying it's their only logical move. Otherwise this congress will finish out its impotent term with its hands tied behind its back. You know in the past I have been told "You seem like a Bright person and a Creative person, and even a good communacator". But this is an empty statement because there is no THEREFORE attatched to it, such as "Therefore I'm going to intervene to get you that job you've been trying for" or "therefore I'm going to give you this big oppertunity". You know that fourteen year old "kid" on the Montell Williams show was given an "oppertunity" NOT to spend the rest of his life in jail, had he the sense to take it. All he had to do was to be sent to this "Farm" in Utah for three or four years. Jesus Christ on KFI says "God doesn't allow do-overs". I'd say, "That's fine- - if you add a Therefore to it". Such as "Therefore since there is no Next Life, I'm going to help you right now since you came to me in petetion". Of course I can't picture Jesus doing that. I sometimes wonder knowing predestination whether God doesn't get his rocks off playing tapes of people making the biggest mistakes of their lives and all the angels snickering "How stupid". Or maybe he's into reliving for instance Mao's slaughter of the Tibetans. My point is don't open your Yap unless there is a "Therefore" attatched to your words. I don't think this congress is winning the war of words. If they were they wouldn't all be so afraid and tennative and scared spitless of offending someone on the right. Nobody has the balls to get up and say "This Iraq War is wrong and as with any wrong, it is an injustice that must be ended right NOW". I really think democrats have forgotten the use of the word "Now". It seems permanantly stripped from their vocabulary.
Sometimes I wish time ran backwards. It would sure make life a lot more pleasent. There are times I've run the "Putfall" game backwards. It's a lot easyer to play that way. Everyone would get younger. People like me and others would get more sure of themselves as time passed. Marriages would spontaniously get better and love would increase between couples and walls would come down. The thing is with Walls and Bridges, you want bridges but you don't want walls. If you ran time backwards both walls and bridges would come down. Clothes and cars would be new and bright and appliances would run better and better as they aged. Messes would clean themselves up. Loved ones would spontaniously come back to life, and doubters would spontaniously regain their Faith. In case you are wondering after the posting after this one, whenever I do it, we've switching to Karmic Suicide for a while and some time then we'll talk about early 1991 in my life. It always seems as if good news is temporary but bad news is permanent. I'm one who would like to see jinxes un-happen. Most engrams are "wired" to run forward, but you could wire them to run backwards, so that you were "controled" by a FUTURE event rather than a past one, but it would have to be an ACTUAL future event. Of course all Jesus can talk about on KFI is how wonderful death is. Death is neither foreward nor backward. People always talk about religion as a struggle. Well, the best way to end a war is to stop fighting it. If God wanted us dead as much as Christian pastors suggests that he does- - like every minute we're alive is some horrible mistake- - then I say to God, "There are a lot of rocks and stones out in the desert. Make desciples of them if you will, but leave the living to we who actually have a stake in it.
Home theater: You've heard a lot about it. Yet if you listen to Leo Le Port you may think achieving it is impossible. First of all you can't put a TV accross from a window because that causes reflection. You can't put a TV in front of a window because that's also bad. You can't have a square room because that's bad for sound. You can't mount the screen over the fireplace. You can't put the TV in a corner because everyone will have a sore neck watching it. And the screen itself has to occupy thirty degrees of visual field. I think they said a screen has to be at LEAST sixty five inches or so for a typical room. Preferably you're supposed to have some long room shaped like a theater and put the TV at one end of it. You know, I bet I could go over a list of things for the democratic congress to do in the way of dos and donts that would leave them just as discouraged, what say?
Monday, May 07, 2007
The Importance of Potassium in the Daily Diet
We have a number of items in the news. This whole police thing in Mac Arthur Park here in Los Angeles started off as a minor blurb in the evening news. But it has since snow-balled into a major news event and scandal. Police Chief Braton says now, "You can't defend the indefencable". There were supposed to be "safe zones" for reporters, and they are saying they didn't give fair warning before police started swinging their batons at demonstrators. It was just a few outside agitators that spoiled the party for everybody. I'm not worried. I think the fact that the LAPD has recognized the problem shows their heart is in the right place and the problem is going to be solved. Some of you may wonder from the last file about my life. My life featured a downward slide from late 1965 in my sophamore years through early 1970 and by mid 1970 it could be said that "I had no ego at all". During this period I was taking three different psychoactive drugs and the only thing they had in comon was that none of them improved my life but arguably complicated the situation. When I look at the people in my life, parents, family members, school counselors, psychaiatrists, other counselors, it's a case of Defending the Indefencable. None of these sways on my life would pass the "Dr. Phill" test, or pass muster with James Dobson, either. Each and every one would get an "F -" in terms of performance. They didn't just fail. They wern't just "unsatisfactory" but they failed with impugnity. As Vincent Bugliosi said about the OJ jury trial, "They merit an F - ". If you get half the answers wrong on a final you get an F. If you only get ten percent of the answers right and the rest wrong, you don't just fail, you fail with impugnity. The decline in my life "steepened" in March of my senior year as my ego began collapsing in on itself. Some may say "Well, when you became a Christian you could ask for prayer and healing for that period of your life". In terms of percent of the time I spent talking about this stuff as a Christian let me give you a nice round figure- - Zero. There was a mutual conspiricy of silence. The unwritten code of Christianity is "pretend you don't have any problems". Trying to get a response to something that happened a half hour ago with them is like pulling teeth. When it comes to discussing something that happened in another decade- - forget it.
We also have that tornado in the news that all but wiped out a town in Kansas. It was one of the biggest tornadoes ever, a class five with over 200 mph winds. Soometimes when the overall wind currents nation wide don't move, if when you get the most violent storms. There is a metaphysical lesson to be learned here. Of course if you're going to live in the land of "Smallville" you can expect strange events like tornadoes and metior crashes. Of course there's that flook tornado that wiped out Amanda's parents on Star Trek that was artificially generated for just that purpose. You know Amanda. "I'd take one home with me" as Lennon would say. I goess one of the things we have to look foreward to is control over the weather as it's controled in Star Trek. Rush Limbaugh has said it's sheer human vanity to think that mankind can change the world's climate for either good or evil by his paultry actions when one eruption of a valcano can put the lie to the idea that man is a polluter.
Yesterday was the 70th. anniversary of the crash and burn of the Hindenburg, the world's highest capacity commercial zeppelin. Of course they used hydrogen because we wanted to keep helium out of the hands of the Nazis. Of course on a startrek episode once they needed hydrogen desperately to straighten out some warped dimension of the universe. Four hydrogen make one helium. And if you take a helium nuclias known as an alpha partical and use it in a cyclotron, you can transmute lighter elements into heavier elements. You could even make gold if you wanted to. I'm reminded of when I hear tales of alchemy of that old superman episode where professor Pepperwinkle had a machine to make gold. This criminal says "here's ten thousand dollars. Get all the materials you need". Then later the professor says "I'll only be able to give you five thousand dollars worth of gold in the first batch", and then the criminals discovered that part of the ingrediants in the gold process was a ten thousand dollar bar of platinum. "I love five thousand dollars on every batch", the professor said sheepishly.
Of course now on sixty minutes they had a terrorist who mended his ways and admitted he was led astray by Bin Laden. There must be some universal military code that states, "You don't make war on civilians". If all of the youth gangs followed this precept they might get better press. There may be something in Islam about not making war on civilians. You don't kill civilians for the hell of it. You don't hide behind civilians, and you don't take civilians as hostages. All these things are cowardly acts lacking in honor. This guy on Sixty Minutes might be called the "Malcolm X of Islan". In the same way that Malcolm X saw in his last year that our war was a war against recisum and prejudice, and not against the White Race, so it is that Islam had more an internal sense of "Honor" people would respect them.
They now say that most of the growth of the Beatles music came in pahse two of their carreer. Basically the period between February 1965 and February 1968 covers the era of their musical expansion and just happens to be the period covered by volume two of Anthology. They sought to shake things up by having Paul Mc Cartney play lead guitar on such songs as "Another Girl" "Ticket to Ride" "Drive My Car" "Taxman" and I just learned, "Good Morning". John in turn played lead guitar on the Ballod of John & Yoco, "Get Back" and "For You Blue". There was this whole painting contraversey on Sixty Minutes where the rap goes "Well, I just don't get the VIBE from this picture that it was painted by the artist you say. I guess with Anthology Vol. 2 you get a certain "Vibe" about the Beatles' music.
You know, sometimes you have to have the capacity to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time and try and reconsile them. F Scott Fitzgerald said this. I first took an interest in F Scott Fitzgerald when his name appeared in a Dylan song, "You've been through all of F Scott Fitzgerald's books". I guess as an author my slogan is "I'm not a Hemmingway; I'm just a Fitzgerald" (remember Ford?) You see I can relate to F Scott Fitzgerald. I can't relate to Earnest Hemmingway. Perhaps I'm not intelligent enough to grasp the points he's making. Here's a contradictory truth. If you believe in Creationisum and not Evolution it's all the more important that you believe in Ecology and care of the Planet. You must preserve the species because God isn't making any more of them. On a TV news show they had Edwards and then a far right Republican presidential candidate, and I found myself identifying more with the far right republican. That is on issues such as abortion an illigal immigration. I am not a racist. I believe our basis for sending Mexicans back is first, respect for the laws of the United States. And secondly I don't want to see our labor market flooded and drive the wage base down. I am also rather against the idea of having a permanent under-class. The Republican was a straight shooter and I respect that. John Edwards waffled all over the place, and undermined my former confidence in him. Of course the rap now is on the Chris Matthews show that many of the Republican candidates for President will turn against the Bush war policy after September, which is supposed to be a magic month. As I told Marcus on the patio, this is the month when we "decide" whether the surge in Iraq worked or not. Marcus' philosophy is if you heard it on the media be it Chris Matthews or whoever- - it's bullshit. President Bush will most likely be prosecuting the Iraq War to the last hour of the last day of the last month in office. Of course Marcus beat me decisively in chess our last game, and that earned him the right to philosophical credibility. Of course F Scott Fitzgerald also said something else and I'm not sure if it's in a novel or otherwise. He was standing on a pier in 1925 and the thought hit him, 'I shall never again be as happy as I am right now the rest of my life". I happened to think of my own life and one period I might back as a "happy period" is late 1990 but before Sunday December 9th. 1990 when a certain Church pastor came to town to deliver his first sermon. A Beatle song comes to mind,"Run for Your Life". I'm thinking of doing a movie of the jinx that pastor's presence had on my life and calling it "Howeling at a Concrete Moon", if I don't get sued for plagurisum. Saturday night Dec. 8th. 1990 was "The Night Before". Do I sense another Beatle song coming on or is it just the burbin talking? Actually I had a rather forboding dream a few days earlier with some symbolisum in it, which also featured an extrordenarily brilliant full moon. - - And now digg this:
We also have that tornado in the news that all but wiped out a town in Kansas. It was one of the biggest tornadoes ever, a class five with over 200 mph winds. Soometimes when the overall wind currents nation wide don't move, if when you get the most violent storms. There is a metaphysical lesson to be learned here. Of course if you're going to live in the land of "Smallville" you can expect strange events like tornadoes and metior crashes. Of course there's that flook tornado that wiped out Amanda's parents on Star Trek that was artificially generated for just that purpose. You know Amanda. "I'd take one home with me" as Lennon would say. I goess one of the things we have to look foreward to is control over the weather as it's controled in Star Trek. Rush Limbaugh has said it's sheer human vanity to think that mankind can change the world's climate for either good or evil by his paultry actions when one eruption of a valcano can put the lie to the idea that man is a polluter.
Yesterday was the 70th. anniversary of the crash and burn of the Hindenburg, the world's highest capacity commercial zeppelin. Of course they used hydrogen because we wanted to keep helium out of the hands of the Nazis. Of course on a startrek episode once they needed hydrogen desperately to straighten out some warped dimension of the universe. Four hydrogen make one helium. And if you take a helium nuclias known as an alpha partical and use it in a cyclotron, you can transmute lighter elements into heavier elements. You could even make gold if you wanted to. I'm reminded of when I hear tales of alchemy of that old superman episode where professor Pepperwinkle had a machine to make gold. This criminal says "here's ten thousand dollars. Get all the materials you need". Then later the professor says "I'll only be able to give you five thousand dollars worth of gold in the first batch", and then the criminals discovered that part of the ingrediants in the gold process was a ten thousand dollar bar of platinum. "I love five thousand dollars on every batch", the professor said sheepishly.
Of course now on sixty minutes they had a terrorist who mended his ways and admitted he was led astray by Bin Laden. There must be some universal military code that states, "You don't make war on civilians". If all of the youth gangs followed this precept they might get better press. There may be something in Islam about not making war on civilians. You don't kill civilians for the hell of it. You don't hide behind civilians, and you don't take civilians as hostages. All these things are cowardly acts lacking in honor. This guy on Sixty Minutes might be called the "Malcolm X of Islan". In the same way that Malcolm X saw in his last year that our war was a war against recisum and prejudice, and not against the White Race, so it is that Islam had more an internal sense of "Honor" people would respect them.
They now say that most of the growth of the Beatles music came in pahse two of their carreer. Basically the period between February 1965 and February 1968 covers the era of their musical expansion and just happens to be the period covered by volume two of Anthology. They sought to shake things up by having Paul Mc Cartney play lead guitar on such songs as "Another Girl" "Ticket to Ride" "Drive My Car" "Taxman" and I just learned, "Good Morning". John in turn played lead guitar on the Ballod of John & Yoco, "Get Back" and "For You Blue". There was this whole painting contraversey on Sixty Minutes where the rap goes "Well, I just don't get the VIBE from this picture that it was painted by the artist you say. I guess with Anthology Vol. 2 you get a certain "Vibe" about the Beatles' music.
You know, sometimes you have to have the capacity to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time and try and reconsile them. F Scott Fitzgerald said this. I first took an interest in F Scott Fitzgerald when his name appeared in a Dylan song, "You've been through all of F Scott Fitzgerald's books". I guess as an author my slogan is "I'm not a Hemmingway; I'm just a Fitzgerald" (remember Ford?) You see I can relate to F Scott Fitzgerald. I can't relate to Earnest Hemmingway. Perhaps I'm not intelligent enough to grasp the points he's making. Here's a contradictory truth. If you believe in Creationisum and not Evolution it's all the more important that you believe in Ecology and care of the Planet. You must preserve the species because God isn't making any more of them. On a TV news show they had Edwards and then a far right Republican presidential candidate, and I found myself identifying more with the far right republican. That is on issues such as abortion an illigal immigration. I am not a racist. I believe our basis for sending Mexicans back is first, respect for the laws of the United States. And secondly I don't want to see our labor market flooded and drive the wage base down. I am also rather against the idea of having a permanent under-class. The Republican was a straight shooter and I respect that. John Edwards waffled all over the place, and undermined my former confidence in him. Of course the rap now is on the Chris Matthews show that many of the Republican candidates for President will turn against the Bush war policy after September, which is supposed to be a magic month. As I told Marcus on the patio, this is the month when we "decide" whether the surge in Iraq worked or not. Marcus' philosophy is if you heard it on the media be it Chris Matthews or whoever- - it's bullshit. President Bush will most likely be prosecuting the Iraq War to the last hour of the last day of the last month in office. Of course Marcus beat me decisively in chess our last game, and that earned him the right to philosophical credibility. Of course F Scott Fitzgerald also said something else and I'm not sure if it's in a novel or otherwise. He was standing on a pier in 1925 and the thought hit him, 'I shall never again be as happy as I am right now the rest of my life". I happened to think of my own life and one period I might back as a "happy period" is late 1990 but before Sunday December 9th. 1990 when a certain Church pastor came to town to deliver his first sermon. A Beatle song comes to mind,"Run for Your Life". I'm thinking of doing a movie of the jinx that pastor's presence had on my life and calling it "Howeling at a Concrete Moon", if I don't get sued for plagurisum. Saturday night Dec. 8th. 1990 was "The Night Before". Do I sense another Beatle song coming on or is it just the burbin talking? Actually I had a rather forboding dream a few days earlier with some symbolisum in it, which also featured an extrordenarily brilliant full moon. - - And now digg this:
[typed August 1st. 2005] What a conundrum. In the morning before breakfast I finished up this program. I then began another after eight. I started the Jump rope program. In this file I do the distance a swinging jump rope travels when it’s swung depending on its length and the number of degrees. I measure the distance as the crow flies, which is harder than doing circular sectors. In the afternoon I came up with another way to do it because I had to for degrees above ninety, involving the Pythagorean Theorem. I needed a way to get the length of the hypotenuse without having to do the Excel thing and compare degrees from a known tangent. The word “short” refers to approaching the far end of the circle. I also use sine and cosine features in the printout plus the all important hypotenuse. Soon I plan to do a graphics program involving a railroad track going vertically with fences on either side.
I was interrupted at ten after eight when the call to
They have discovered a new planet beyond Pluto and slightly larger than Pluto but they say its orbit is inclined at 45 degrees, which no other planet is. This story has been “around” for several months. The Hubble telescope will examine it.
George Bush recess-appointed John Boulton to the United Nations. Someone said he worked for Reagan, too. Apparently the Constitution allows it but it won’t help him politically when even many Republicans don’t like him.
Senator Bill Friss has come out in favor of stem cell research. Friss is a physician and may just be returning to his humanitarian roots. All he wants is what I want. For embryos that would only get thrown away to be utilized. If anything it’s more of a property issue than a life issue. Jesus people like on KFI on say God no longer does healings. But when you bring up stem cells they’re against them, too. Rush Limbaugh is a major nay-sayer on the subject. But the President will veto any bills passed. This might be another issue that will cost the President in the long run.
Last night it was At the Movies. They have issued a Director’s cut of “Alexander”, who is Oliver Stone in this case. Eighteen boring minutes were cut and ten minutes of action scenes were added. It’s definitely a movie I’d like to see. We don’t know enough about historic figures and this is a good way to learn.
Sixty Minutes was all reruns. Vladimir Puton was on with his insane remarks about the
They are saying that July was a record good month to be in the stock market. Only now, they say, have stock prices exceeded the days of pre “911”.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Waiting For Tomorrow
Sometimes you hear something about the future you're curious to have come to pass but then you think, "Oh that's so far from now it's irrelivent". Leo Le Port has caught himself saying a few times "Well, this coming development will affect my children but it probably won't affect me". In last Tuesday's "Nova" episode they began with a statement by Sir Isaac Newton that "In the year 2060 gravity will cease to exist". This is an intriguing statement, but they never came back to it; it was just bait. I happened to think it's close to our year of 2061 when we said the Warp drive as in startrek will be invented. I searched and found the number 2061 in three different blogs, "Rocca Rolla", "Wheels of Retrobution" (under Kill Kill Kill) and also "Cosmic Tides". What they did not go into was the discovery of the graviton, which may have existed only in Star Trek forty years ago but has now in fact been discovered as a subatomic particle, or some would say "string". Only it isn't a normal horse shoe string but rather a circular string, which means it has less power than it otherwise would have. For all practical perposes scientists have regarded gravity as like God in that it is universal. It's everywhere and inescapable. Perhaps not. If they can isolate the graviton, which they have, they can get rid of it so that matter will no longer be subject to it. As you know in the "Stuff" I write I make reference to space folding and also hyperspace. These are two varients of the same concept. That space as we know it is more illusion than reality and we're "missing a key dimension". Newton did not know this. Some say that there are mysterious mathematical formulas of Newton he never developed that were later used to prove the "string" theory of subatomic matter. Just between you and me the difference between a "string" and a "particle" seems a little accademic to me. Functionally they are both mysterious things in the subatomic realm of matter that obey their own QUIRKy set of physics laws. When the last Star Trek series began, the one from 2001, I was hoping it would go "back to the beginning" when the warp drive concept was first invented and how the population of earth responded to it. If history is to imotate art, soon after scientists harnis (or rather "unhinge") the graviton, we shall soon receive a visitation from an alien civilization from space. I'll be pushing a hundred and ten if I'm even still alive by then. Waiting for tomorrow can be frustrating because a lot can happen in such a short time. In the six years I've lived here I'd say there has been about a two thirds turnover in population. When I lived in my apartment for thirteen there was a hundred percent turnover in population- multiple times. I was a regular Methusalah. You could tell what year it was by the roster of tennants. We all saw the Brady Bunch kids "grow up", which seems like a long time, but that series was only on the air for six years. The Cosby kids were only on the air eight. And yet they say, for instance, a typical Bible Study group only lasts about two and a half years. Three years ago such key soap opera characters as Chelsea, Nick, and E J Wells didn't exist, I don't think. Right now as I look at the electionf of January and early February of 2008 that seems an eternity off. Sometimes events in a person's life can turn around on a dime, if God wills it to be that way.
This is only a half hour later but I did leave out one paragraph I had planned even though it would seem to "break the flow" a bit. It's kind of like Emerson Lake and Palmer completing the "Brain Salad Surgery" album and then saying "Oh would you look at that - we don't have room for the title song!" Sir Isaac Newton believed that gravity was a unifersal fource. In the Nova segment they didn't expressly give Johan Kepler credit for a key discovery about diving an orbital elipse into segments and each edge represents speed of orbit and the areas of the circle traversed are all equal despite orbital speed and distance being altered. You know, people say that guns shot into the air kill when the bullets come down. But this violates Newtonian psysics. If an object falls in a parabala on its downward path- - all parabalas are the same shape despite the distance traveled beforehand when the object was accelerating to the apex or peak. If a baseball is hit at home place and rises to twenty feet and hits the ground at a thirty degree angle, the ball comes in no faster than if you had physically thrown the baseball from a much shorter distance and the apex rose to twenty feet and came down at a thirty degree angle. Pure physics would suggest that the balls would have to be hitting the ground at the same speed. So if you drop a penny off the Empire State building and they now say it wouldn't hurt you- - which weighs more? A bullet or a penny? If a bullet rises to a heighth equal to the empire state building and then falls, it shouldn't hurt you either. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about Newtons idea of universal laws in nature. Newton spent a lot of time in alchemy trying to come up with the invention of the Philosopher's stone, which was some purple alloy that was said to have mystic powers. Well a modern scientist followed Newton's directions and came up with a purplish metallic alloy. But that's all it was. Newton was apparently captivated by the way certain metallic (?) crystals formed and they appeared to have almost lifelike properties the way plants grow. That brings us to the year 2061. We we be alive to see it? The age old question is what is the nature of the soul. If you believe the Eccliastes model in the Bible the soul is like a ping pong ball in some hopper and every so often a ball pops out and this is the one that now has earthly life and when its life in this body is spent the ball goes back in the hopper, kind of like a transporter beam in continuous diagnostic mode that saved Scotty. However this assumes a homogenious nature of the soul as being like a cord or strand. But what if the soul is like some amorphus liquid plasma substance that shares its reality in the sixth dimension? Suppose each sperm and egg truely does "induce" from out of the sixth dimension some of this "plasma" "life fource". Suppose this "life fource" is just another discription of what God is like, like gravity being a universal phenominum whose existance is accepted as axiomatic. (unprovable) After you die- - the illusion that is you vanishes and your consciousness or the ILLUSION (not to discredit Descartes or anything) Cogito Ergo Sum - - the illusion of what you've always thought was you is now spread far flung in other bodies. If this plasma life subatance contains your engrams, consciousness, and will, than indeed there would be a YOU in your past and a YOU in your future but this peculiar combination you "Thought" was you right now through your peculiar (particular) DNA is spread out all over. Nonetheless when people die they aren't conscious of their own deaths. They don't thing "Well gee, isn't it sad I'm no longer alive". Last night a woman here had a party for her dead husband, whose birthday it was. I didn't want to tell her it was the 25th. anniversary of my committing suicide. It didn't seem relivant. At any rate the next thing I remember it was Saturday morning going on three days later. I had no notion of the passage of time. Neighter do the dead, if they're really dead. As to whether or not you'll be alive in 2060 I guess if you're like Guynen on Startrek and have some sixth sense of perception you may be aware enough to know who you are and where you were. Some would like to hasten this psychic awareness.
At the same time waiting for "developments" with President Bush is kind of like watching grass grow. So he's vetoed the Iraq War funding bill. Is that news? From last November on, six months ago, we all knew he was going to do that. The event barely even qualifies as news. Two months ago we are all looking forward to the Alberto Gonsolez hearings. What became of them? Nothing. Just as I predicted. The hearings were a non event. Now Sec. Rice is talking to Syria. We've heard roomers about Syria for months and months. It will probably take another six months to find out if anything came of the visit. Sylvia Browne says Bush is going to start withdrawing troops from Iraq this year. She isn't the only one. Roomers of "declaring victory and leaving" seem rampent these days. We look for the slightest change in the President's wording of a War issue for a glimmor of hope. People say "The President wouldn't DARE have the troops in Iraq for next year's primaries". I've learned never to second guess what our President wouldn't DARE do. Short of death or impeachment I just don't see any movement with our President. You'll have to pry the Veto pen from his cold, dead hands! Now we have the Republican debate at the Reagan library. Regan's name was invoked fourteen times among the ten candidate's and the President's only once. As Mr. KABC says, the Ronald Reagan legasy is being reinvented. Myth is more conforting than reality. Reagen backed down from terrorists in Lebanon. Reagen actually had TALKS with Gorvichev. Ronald Reagan ballonned the deficet. Nancy Reagen unlike the Republicans last night actually favors stem cell research. Who is to say what myth makers will do and say when George Bush leaves office. Nine months from now we will know the Party choices for President of the United States. People say "Bush HAS to end the War by then or the Republicans will lose the election". Again saying what the President HAS to do is always misguided. We're expecting rationality from an irrational mind. Indeed this is the most "unsensable" president we've ever had.
May fourth, today is the 27th. anniversary of the shooting of those four students by National Guard troopers at Kent State in 1970. I don't think charges were ever brought against the troopers, were they? Sometimes life can be a case of "waiting for Yesterday". Have you ever had "Discontenent" or non-contiguous memories? You have a CLEAR memory of certain events that aren't "The way people say it happened". Warf on startrek had this when he thought he won first place at a Klingon contest with the batleth, only to discover NEW that he got ninth place. And "You complained this morning of ringing in your ears when you came in my office and said your opponet had used an illegal move". Well, yeah- - a blow to the head might cause a memory lapse. In the files "Lites-out" and "Screwups" I play with viewers minds offering two different views of a period of time from about the first of May 1970 to about mid July 1970. Was this indeed a third time that I was inturred in a mental institution as delusional? In the story I "imagine" events I maintained really happened such as going to San Francisco with my Dad , and going to Catalina, and visiting Sea World. But did I only "imagine" these events. Perhaps my brain tried to "fill in the blanks" with pleasent events. The rap goes after I heard about the invasion by Nixon of Cambodia in mid April 1970 I started acting wierd. And a few days later it was Earth Day and the next day I had my pre induction physical for the draft. Perhaps I was faking this "illness" to convince the people in the Army I was insane so they wouldn't take me. "But I'm not faking it". But I continued to speak irrationally of "getting the revolution going". Then the Monday after Daylight Savings Time I showed up at group therapy and I really had a lot I needed to talk about this week. I needed them. But the meeting was cancled, which sent me over the edge and a few days later I was admitted to a Mental Institution, and I first learned about Kent St. from watching the TV at the place. I got out in mid July a few days before my brother's "house warming" party where there were a lot of girls and marijuana, but I was so socially withdrawn I didn't fit in well and before too long I left without telling anybody and walked the mile and a half plus back home. But the next group therapy session I went do didn't happen till Monday August 3rd. when I had a lot to talk about. Do you ever have "discontiguous" memories? I'll tell you a few things I KNOW that apparently aren't So. Led Zeppelin broke up in early October of 1979 right after John Bonnum died, which is right after "In through the out door" was released. The Steely Dan "Gaucho" album was released in 1979 and in early 1980 I remember seeing a "Best of" with "Hey Nineteen" and other songs from the Gaucho album on it. Sometimes things flip back and forth. I clearly remember in 1989 that "Building the Perfect Beast" by Don Henley was just being premiered. But later I heard "End of the Innocence" was his 3rd. album and "Beast" was his 2nd. out in early 1985. Wally Sherah. They said he went up in October 1962 but I clearly remember listening to the news on my Grandfather's car radio on the way to the ranch in August of 1962 and not October. I remember my brother quitting (or being fired?) from a Church job in January of 1991. But it was April 1992 my brother informed me was the one year anniversary of the firing, not January. I have clear detaled memories of events. But I searched my own writings from April 1991 and he was proven right. I remember hearing "Vasoline" by STP in February 1994 a few months before it came out. The radio played a fragment of the song then mysteriously switched to another station. Ah. But I had it on tape! Months later I played the tape back and "Vasoline" was NOT the mystery song. Oddly most of these "variences" (not the last one) can be narrowed down to a time period you can refine to about June of 1991. In this month my parents suddenly "resurrected" talk of mental illness, after the topic not being broached for over fifteen years. They even taunted me, "Pretty soon you're going to lose ALL your friends" when I complained the past week or two friends seemed to be avoiding me. One time in a report to my doctor made by my brother the doctor wanted me to see it and there was a line in there about "Getting mad and blowing off all his friends one by one". This event never happened. He made it up. Also the "Asshole from El Paso" responded VERY different to my July letter to him than he did to my April letter three months earlier. This has always mystified me. I know a depression came on me in June of 1991 even though I was doing things like buying new clothes and clearing out old stuff from dresser drawers. Maybe I slipped through a fifth dimensional portal.
This is only a half hour later but I did leave out one paragraph I had planned even though it would seem to "break the flow" a bit. It's kind of like Emerson Lake and Palmer completing the "Brain Salad Surgery" album and then saying "Oh would you look at that - we don't have room for the title song!" Sir Isaac Newton believed that gravity was a unifersal fource. In the Nova segment they didn't expressly give Johan Kepler credit for a key discovery about diving an orbital elipse into segments and each edge represents speed of orbit and the areas of the circle traversed are all equal despite orbital speed and distance being altered. You know, people say that guns shot into the air kill when the bullets come down. But this violates Newtonian psysics. If an object falls in a parabala on its downward path- - all parabalas are the same shape despite the distance traveled beforehand when the object was accelerating to the apex or peak. If a baseball is hit at home place and rises to twenty feet and hits the ground at a thirty degree angle, the ball comes in no faster than if you had physically thrown the baseball from a much shorter distance and the apex rose to twenty feet and came down at a thirty degree angle. Pure physics would suggest that the balls would have to be hitting the ground at the same speed. So if you drop a penny off the Empire State building and they now say it wouldn't hurt you- - which weighs more? A bullet or a penny? If a bullet rises to a heighth equal to the empire state building and then falls, it shouldn't hurt you either. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about Newtons idea of universal laws in nature. Newton spent a lot of time in alchemy trying to come up with the invention of the Philosopher's stone, which was some purple alloy that was said to have mystic powers. Well a modern scientist followed Newton's directions and came up with a purplish metallic alloy. But that's all it was. Newton was apparently captivated by the way certain metallic (?) crystals formed and they appeared to have almost lifelike properties the way plants grow. That brings us to the year 2061. We we be alive to see it? The age old question is what is the nature of the soul. If you believe the Eccliastes model in the Bible the soul is like a ping pong ball in some hopper and every so often a ball pops out and this is the one that now has earthly life and when its life in this body is spent the ball goes back in the hopper, kind of like a transporter beam in continuous diagnostic mode that saved Scotty. However this assumes a homogenious nature of the soul as being like a cord or strand. But what if the soul is like some amorphus liquid plasma substance that shares its reality in the sixth dimension? Suppose each sperm and egg truely does "induce" from out of the sixth dimension some of this "plasma" "life fource". Suppose this "life fource" is just another discription of what God is like, like gravity being a universal phenominum whose existance is accepted as axiomatic. (unprovable) After you die- - the illusion that is you vanishes and your consciousness or the ILLUSION (not to discredit Descartes or anything) Cogito Ergo Sum - - the illusion of what you've always thought was you is now spread far flung in other bodies. If this plasma life subatance contains your engrams, consciousness, and will, than indeed there would be a YOU in your past and a YOU in your future but this peculiar combination you "Thought" was you right now through your peculiar (particular) DNA is spread out all over. Nonetheless when people die they aren't conscious of their own deaths. They don't thing "Well gee, isn't it sad I'm no longer alive". Last night a woman here had a party for her dead husband, whose birthday it was. I didn't want to tell her it was the 25th. anniversary of my committing suicide. It didn't seem relivant. At any rate the next thing I remember it was Saturday morning going on three days later. I had no notion of the passage of time. Neighter do the dead, if they're really dead. As to whether or not you'll be alive in 2060 I guess if you're like Guynen on Startrek and have some sixth sense of perception you may be aware enough to know who you are and where you were. Some would like to hasten this psychic awareness.
At the same time waiting for "developments" with President Bush is kind of like watching grass grow. So he's vetoed the Iraq War funding bill. Is that news? From last November on, six months ago, we all knew he was going to do that. The event barely even qualifies as news. Two months ago we are all looking forward to the Alberto Gonsolez hearings. What became of them? Nothing. Just as I predicted. The hearings were a non event. Now Sec. Rice is talking to Syria. We've heard roomers about Syria for months and months. It will probably take another six months to find out if anything came of the visit. Sylvia Browne says Bush is going to start withdrawing troops from Iraq this year. She isn't the only one. Roomers of "declaring victory and leaving" seem rampent these days. We look for the slightest change in the President's wording of a War issue for a glimmor of hope. People say "The President wouldn't DARE have the troops in Iraq for next year's primaries". I've learned never to second guess what our President wouldn't DARE do. Short of death or impeachment I just don't see any movement with our President. You'll have to pry the Veto pen from his cold, dead hands! Now we have the Republican debate at the Reagan library. Regan's name was invoked fourteen times among the ten candidate's and the President's only once. As Mr. KABC says, the Ronald Reagan legasy is being reinvented. Myth is more conforting than reality. Reagen backed down from terrorists in Lebanon. Reagen actually had TALKS with Gorvichev. Ronald Reagan ballonned the deficet. Nancy Reagen unlike the Republicans last night actually favors stem cell research. Who is to say what myth makers will do and say when George Bush leaves office. Nine months from now we will know the Party choices for President of the United States. People say "Bush HAS to end the War by then or the Republicans will lose the election". Again saying what the President HAS to do is always misguided. We're expecting rationality from an irrational mind. Indeed this is the most "unsensable" president we've ever had.
May fourth, today is the 27th. anniversary of the shooting of those four students by National Guard troopers at Kent State in 1970. I don't think charges were ever brought against the troopers, were they? Sometimes life can be a case of "waiting for Yesterday". Have you ever had "Discontenent" or non-contiguous memories? You have a CLEAR memory of certain events that aren't "The way people say it happened". Warf on startrek had this when he thought he won first place at a Klingon contest with the batleth, only to discover NEW that he got ninth place. And "You complained this morning of ringing in your ears when you came in my office and said your opponet had used an illegal move". Well, yeah- - a blow to the head might cause a memory lapse. In the files "Lites-out" and "Screwups" I play with viewers minds offering two different views of a period of time from about the first of May 1970 to about mid July 1970. Was this indeed a third time that I was inturred in a mental institution as delusional? In the story I "imagine" events I maintained really happened such as going to San Francisco with my Dad , and going to Catalina, and visiting Sea World. But did I only "imagine" these events. Perhaps my brain tried to "fill in the blanks" with pleasent events. The rap goes after I heard about the invasion by Nixon of Cambodia in mid April 1970 I started acting wierd. And a few days later it was Earth Day and the next day I had my pre induction physical for the draft. Perhaps I was faking this "illness" to convince the people in the Army I was insane so they wouldn't take me. "But I'm not faking it". But I continued to speak irrationally of "getting the revolution going". Then the Monday after Daylight Savings Time I showed up at group therapy and I really had a lot I needed to talk about this week. I needed them. But the meeting was cancled, which sent me over the edge and a few days later I was admitted to a Mental Institution, and I first learned about Kent St. from watching the TV at the place. I got out in mid July a few days before my brother's "house warming" party where there were a lot of girls and marijuana, but I was so socially withdrawn I didn't fit in well and before too long I left without telling anybody and walked the mile and a half plus back home. But the next group therapy session I went do didn't happen till Monday August 3rd. when I had a lot to talk about. Do you ever have "discontiguous" memories? I'll tell you a few things I KNOW that apparently aren't So. Led Zeppelin broke up in early October of 1979 right after John Bonnum died, which is right after "In through the out door" was released. The Steely Dan "Gaucho" album was released in 1979 and in early 1980 I remember seeing a "Best of" with "Hey Nineteen" and other songs from the Gaucho album on it. Sometimes things flip back and forth. I clearly remember in 1989 that "Building the Perfect Beast" by Don Henley was just being premiered. But later I heard "End of the Innocence" was his 3rd. album and "Beast" was his 2nd. out in early 1985. Wally Sherah. They said he went up in October 1962 but I clearly remember listening to the news on my Grandfather's car radio on the way to the ranch in August of 1962 and not October. I remember my brother quitting (or being fired?) from a Church job in January of 1991. But it was April 1992 my brother informed me was the one year anniversary of the firing, not January. I have clear detaled memories of events. But I searched my own writings from April 1991 and he was proven right. I remember hearing "Vasoline" by STP in February 1994 a few months before it came out. The radio played a fragment of the song then mysteriously switched to another station. Ah. But I had it on tape! Months later I played the tape back and "Vasoline" was NOT the mystery song. Oddly most of these "variences" (not the last one) can be narrowed down to a time period you can refine to about June of 1991. In this month my parents suddenly "resurrected" talk of mental illness, after the topic not being broached for over fifteen years. They even taunted me, "Pretty soon you're going to lose ALL your friends" when I complained the past week or two friends seemed to be avoiding me. One time in a report to my doctor made by my brother the doctor wanted me to see it and there was a line in there about "Getting mad and blowing off all his friends one by one". This event never happened. He made it up. Also the "Asshole from El Paso" responded VERY different to my July letter to him than he did to my April letter three months earlier. This has always mystified me. I know a depression came on me in June of 1991 even though I was doing things like buying new clothes and clearing out old stuff from dresser drawers. Maybe I slipped through a fifth dimensional portal.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)